The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Binding : Paperback
ProductGroup : Book
Manufacturer : Orion (an Imprint of The Orion Publishing Group Ltd )
Label : Orion (an Imprint of The Orion Publishing Group Ltd )
Publisher : Orion (an Imprint of The Orion Publishing Group Ltd )
Studio : Orion (an Imprint of The Orion Publishing Group Ltd )
Lowest Used Price: USD $9.73
Lowest New Price: USD $9.49
Straightforward in its approach, yet profound in its effect, the principles outlined in this book teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman has scientifically analysed the habits of married couples and established a method of correcting the behaviour that puts thousands of marriages on the rocks. He helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr Gottman's workshops, this is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. 'An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent - and long-lasting - marriage' Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence
Amazon.com Review
According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts.
Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.)
Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply."
Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen
Finally! A Secular Book! (2009-06-15)
My husband and I have a good marriage, but I like to do what I can to make it even better. We are neither of us very religious, and I had difficulty finding a book that was not based in Christianity. This book is exactly that for which I was looking.
It uses scientific research to determine exactly what makes marriages succeed or fail. It's true the data weren't exactly collected in the best way; taking people out of their natural environment and telling them they're being watched is not going to yield perfect results. Still, it is much closer to reality than previous ideas on marital bliss, which were developed abstractly.
We've only done one of the exercises so far, but I already feel like it brought about a better understanding of my husband. And, it was fun!! I would strongly recommend this book to anyone with marital problems or anyone who just wants to make their marriage stronger!
Good read (2009-05-15)
This is a good book with good info and good points. Has exercises too that are helpful. The one thing my husband and I did not like was the author's ego. Once you get through his ego and get to the good stuff it's a good book.
Excellent Book (2009-05-08)
This is an excellent book - We're only partway into it and have already gotten some great insights into the state of our marriage and how we can improve it. I highly recommend it.
Practical and sensible dos and don'ts for marriage building. (2009-05-05)
Dr. Gottman has great insight into how to understand your mate and how to help your mate understand you as well. His approach is quite different from most marriage manuals. The seven principals are easy to understand and to put into practice.
open secrets for those willing to open (2009-05-03)
By opening this book (and this review!) you are already willing to learn, think, and remodel. These acts mean that you probably respect others, and deserve the same. These are the essence of Gottman's principles - respect and love, golden rule type of stuff. He is big on sense and provides a useful roadmap. However, if one partner is NOT reading the book, there is a problem
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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Binding : Kindle Edition
ProductGroup : eBooks
Manufacturer : Three Rivers Press
Label : Three Rivers Press
Publisher : Three Rivers Press
Studio : Three Rivers Press
ReleaseDate : 2002-02-04
Lowest New Price: USD $9.99
Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.
This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved.
Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage.
Maintain a love map.
Foster fondness and admiration.
Turn toward instead of away.
Accept influence.
Solve solvable conflicts.
Cope with conflicts you can't resolve.
Create shared meaning.
Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.
Amazon.com Review
According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts.
Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.)
Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply."
Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen
Finally! A Secular Book! (2009-06-15)
My husband and I have a good marriage, but I like to do what I can to make it even better. We are neither of us very religious, and I had difficulty finding a book that was not based in Christianity. This book is exactly that for which I was looking.
It uses scientific research to determine exactly what makes marriages succeed or fail. It's true the data weren't exactly collected in the best way; taking people out of their natural environment and telling them they're being watched is not going to yield perfect results. Still, it is much closer to reality than previous ideas on marital bliss, which were developed abstractly.
We've only done one of the exercises so far, but I already feel like it brought about a better understanding of my husband. And, it was fun!! I would strongly recommend this book to anyone with marital problems or anyone who just wants to make their marriage stronger!
Good read (2009-05-15)
This is a good book with good info and good points. Has exercises too that are helpful. The one thing my husband and I did not like was the author's ego. Once you get through his ego and get to the good stuff it's a good book.
Excellent Book (2009-05-08)
This is an excellent book - We're only partway into it and have already gotten some great insights into the state of our marriage and how we can improve it. I highly recommend it.
Practical and sensible dos and don'ts for marriage building. (2009-05-05)
Dr. Gottman has great insight into how to understand your mate and how to help your mate understand you as well. His approach is quite different from most marriage manuals. The seven principals are easy to understand and to put into practice.
open secrets for those willing to open (2009-05-03)
By opening this book (and this review!) you are already willing to learn, think, and remodel. These acts mean that you probably respect others, and deserve the same. These are the essence of Gottman's principles - respect and love, golden rule type of stuff. He is big on sense and provides a useful roadmap. However, if one partner is NOT reading the book, there is a problem
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
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